why some people can write a 10 page paper in a matter of hours, and why it takes me multiple days is something i will never understand.

maybe it’s the way i structure my papers. maybe not.

maybe it’s the way my brain cannot think in complete ideas without jumping ahead to a completely different topic.

maybe it’s because i create meticulous outlines of every section i will write about and then i construct my paper by writing fragments of paragraphs i think will fit well in each section - instead of starting at the beginning and writing straight through. occasionally leaving half written sentences which i come back to once i’ve lost what i thought i was going to complete them with.

i haven’t had the chance to write a paper since 2003. i’ve been trapped in the world of legal writing which stylistically may be the worst thing i’ve ever been forced to endure.

i can clearly remember sitting at my desk senior year, in a tiny single barely big enough to fit my bed, cranking out paper after paper, bit by bit in the same manner. locked in my room for hours at a time, with a handful of blue sticky tack making miniature cubes and sticking them all over the edges of my computer screen. write a sentence, make a cube, write a sentence, make a cube. repeat. or maybe thats ocd.

once i’m given a writing assignment i move from being academically lethargic to throwing myself in every direction to understand the topic i’m writing about. but oh wait, not just the topic i’m writing about. this is the time where i decide to leave my indolent state, take on 6 new hobbies, learn an instrument and become talkative. or maybe thats procrastination.

writing my senior thesis on the globalization of terrorist networks not only gave me a better understanding of the inner workings of our government and our “freedoms”, but i also learned how to knit and play the harmonica.

so, as i’m once again entering the realm of academic writing - i am left questioning why i chose to become a lifeless drone when i should have heeded the advice of my 4th grade teacher who encouraged me to become a creative writer. even if i wasn’t making enough money to live, while i was “working”(writing that is..) at least i’d be procrastinating by learning survival skills, how to build your own shelter, and teaching myself to play 5 instruments at once to play for money in the subway.

oh well.